Is The Stress Worth It?

No. The answer is no. The stress is not worth it. But how do I not stress about all this mess? It’s not easy. As my Dad told me, “The hardest part is between the ears”. And he’s right. I can come up with all sorts of unsavory scenarios in my head. And you know what? It doesn’t help me. So why do I do it? How do I not do it? Million dollar question. I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out.

So, what exactly have I been stressing about? Well, honestly I’ve been a mess since I wasn’t able to get my treatment last week. But, more specifically, every three weeks when I have my treatment is also when they run my full blood panel. The one where I find out where my liver and bone numbers stand. I’ve been checking my patient portal like a maniac ever since last Friday. Seriously. I’ve looked at it probably every hour for the past three days. And I called my Doctor’s office today. Like I said…maniac. So, drum roll please. Its all good! My liver number (ALT) that had spiked last time is back down. The normal range is 11-66 and mine is 32. Three weeks ago it was 40. Moving in the right direction! The other liver number (AST),which is actually a more accurate reading, is 34 and the normal range is 15-46. Phew! My bone reading is 83; down from 95 three weeks ago! The normal range is 38-126. Getting these results has really lifted a weight off of me. I honestly feel a hundred pounds lighter. If I figure out that trick I’ll pass it along, too. Ha!

Now I just wait until Wednesday to [hopefully] have my 5th treatment. I’ve already mentally prepared myself for the possibility of not being able to have it. If that’s how it shakes out, I will go back on Friday. Also, my Doctor has already tentatively scheduled my next set of scans for after my 6th treatment. I’ve opted to include a brain scan. He wanted to do one after my initial diagnosis and scans but I wouldn’t do it then because I was too afraid of getting more bad news. And I’m tasking myself with learning how to not stress about things I have no control over. Or to at least manage it. Its crazy to give myself headaches over these things. I’ll keep you posted!